writing to an audience

- So I wrote a Twilight parody on Facebook, and only two people seemed to get it was even a parody or why it was funny. WHich means maybe it wasn't funny, but the people who thought it was funny really like it. I thought it was funny.

It goes to support my theory that most people don't pay attention to the details of writing, though. I put exaggerated movements, I put dialoge contradictions that made no sense unless you were an uber-angsty character, and I used ridiculous descriptions multiple times. So either you guys must think I'm a terrible writer, or you weren't paying attention. ;P I'm kidding. I wrote it at 3am last night, so maybe it really wasn't funny.

Makes me wonder though, about what kind of audience I'm ever going to be able to get it I keep writing in my niche. It's what I like, so I don't think I'm going to try and change, but at the same time, i would like to, someday in the far distant future, be commercially viable.

Something for me to think about.

- New Moon came out at midnight. The hour of 12am to 1am was one of the busiest I've seen in a long time. Doesn't make a lot of sense.

more to say

- SO I'm trying to hammer out an exerpt I can post on here so you can see what I'm working on, but it's taking longer than I thought. Plus, everytime I reread it, I like it less and less, and then I have to change it.

- A cop in Arkansas tasered an unruly ten-year old girl who was throwing a fit. I'm thinking this definitely needs to catch on. More tasering of unruly children.

- I'm really bothered by Sarah Palin's current popularity. She's popular, but once she starts running, she has too much baggage. Plus, there are people who won't vote for her because she's a woman, and others who won't vote for her because of Levi Johnston (who should be shot, or at least tasered repeatedly, on a daily basis). My point is not that I don't like her (which I don't, really, but that's more of a personal thing, rather than political), just that she can't win.

- Fox has Obama's approval at a new low of 46%. But that's Fox. MSNBC has him at 89% approval, with 11% hating black people.

- The Star Trek where the Enterprise gets infected and everyone devolves was on. I remember these from so long ago. The one where Picard draws a happy face in the cloud was also on recently. That was pretty good.

- The Lions are so bad. So unbelieveably bad. It's like trying to use Froggy suit on mario 3. Sure, it looks like it might have potential, but in 98% of circumstances it's going to get you hit by a koopa paratroopa. The Lions can't catch the ball, for one thing. They drop passes like no other.

- Tuesday got me watching Criminal Minds. It's actually quite interesting. It's different from other cop shows, because they are all about profiling the bad guys. It's interesting. Plus, the reruns have Mandy Patikin. And I like saying Mandy Patikin.

plots and settings

- For the first time in a really long time, I have a plot for my writing, and a setting that I actually spent time to come up with, and it feels great.

Normally I focus on characters and stuff, and then a couple weeks later I have twenty pages of random dialogue but nowhere to put it. I haven't been this excited since they found sniffer dog!



Way to go, sniffer dog.

Anyway, I'm really excited about where this is going. Hopefully I'll stick with it. I give up way to often. I was reading Rothfusseseses' blog and realized how much I wanted that. Not envy, but definitely a goal.

november

- Taylor Swift is not attractive, in the least. She looks like a china doll, a rather creepy china doll.

- I am a self-declared Brett Favre apologist. I read articles on ESPN about Favre. I care about him beating the Packers, and embarassing Ted Thompson. I will argue he is one of the best quarterbacks playing the game, edging Brady and Rothelisberger.

There is a lot being written about him "Betryaing" the Packers by putting on a Viking's uniform. Honestly, though, the Viking's fanbase has got to be just as guilty of being tunrcoats. We hated this guy! Whenever Favre's name came up, I'd reference his all-time lead in interceptions. I just think the whole thing is enormously entertaining.

- The new Robert Jordan book is out! I've got about an hour of reviewing ahead of me tonight.

- So... my writing has been really, really poor lately. I did some decent stuff Friday, which is the first in a long while. Everything else is either deleted or crossed out. I have an entire notebook (it feels like) of crossed out pages. It's really rough on my sleep.

alternate endings

- I hate the concept of alternate endings. When I see a movie, I want to be able to talk about it with other people, operating under the same set of circumstances. What's up with all these alternate endings? Either the people die, or they live. Make up your minds, collective directors.

- Gerard Butler is making a lot of movies. It's like when Jude Law was making all those movies, only Gerard Butler is cool.

- Btw, if he's a boy, we're probably going to name him Malachi Davis, and if she's a girl, Grace Anne.

- I've been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation late at night. They really aren't that bad, considering the setting. Patrick Stewart is awesome. What I'm trying to say is, definitely Picard.

- Barack Hussein Obama! Mmm-mm-mmmmm!

- I was thinking of buying a ChiaObama for the Middle, but I think some people would find it disrespectful to the President (even though it's obviously meant as an honor, if you watch the commercials). It doesn't even look like him. It looks more like Michael Irvin. Or the psychologist from MASH. Yeah. It should have been named ChiaSidney.

- Go Vikings! And Lions! And, for this week only, Falcons!

new stuff

- So about music.....

I am more and more coming to the conclusion that the idea that only our hymns are pleasing as worship to God is false. I don't think it is necessarily harmful, to some extent, as erring on the side of caution is often good, especially in terms of raising a family. However, in the broader spectrum of debate, the argument is not winnable if taking such an extreme position.

These thoughts occurred to me while watching Glory. In one of the later scenes, the all black Ma. 54th regiment is having a prayer/worship circle before the final battle. The music is not what we would be comfortable singing in our churches, but I cannot believe that such a prayer/worship service would be unpleasing to our God, if it were real, of course, and not actors.

- Saw the Quentin Tarantino movie. Liked it. Most of it, anyway. Very gruesome, some parts. Some parts dragged on. But the ending was terrific.

*Spoiler*

















Seeing Hitler get his face shot up by a machine gun is somewhat therapeutic.

















*End Spoiler*


- I had three days off in a row. AWESOME-SAUCE!!!

- Joe Wilson for President!

Okay, so there's an uproar over the way he did it. I think it's about time a Republican did it. If this were a TV show, he would have been set up for it by Republican leadership. Junior senator, popular, throws a punch that everyone wants to throw, but can't, and then gets "rebuked" by the leadership (who are really giving him atta-boys). This was on West Wing once.

The media is falling over themselves to praise Obama again, but I think Wilson helped us. I only hope Sharpton gets involved. Call Wilson a racist or something.

- NFL is BACK!!!! Woot! AND....... Chris Colinsworth is taking over for Madden! I'm not sure if we'll be able to handle lucid commentary with our Monday Night Football. It'd be like reintroducing Mighty Joe to the wild. As if the first thing Joe did wasn't to fall over a waterfall or something while prancing wildly through the jungle. "Be free, Joe! Oh, and try not to get malaria. Buh-bye!" Honestly, something that big is going to be putting down a lot of herbs with no built-up immunization. Way to go, Theron. And Guy-From-Twister.

- Every few months or so I go hankering for a new PC game. It isn't pretty. It's like when Chewie grabs the thing and they all get stuck in the net, only the payoff for me is never a legion of archer teddy bears. It's usually something that freezes my PC and causes seizures in small children.

- I hated CMU. It's been awhile since I've said that. But it's till true. But Mike, you say, hatred is not healthy! To which I reply, DIE, CMU, DIEEEE!!!!

Okay, not really. But I didn't like it there.

hey hey we're the monkeys

- Two for the price of one.

- Tuesday is due April 21st. Yay! I am so happy and excited.

- So... what's up with you? I've been playing Guild Wars. It's free, which at this time is a huge advantage over WoW. Plus, it's different. You can play the whole thing solo. It's less about grinding. The gear doesn't make or break you, which is cool. WoW was always about gear. Guild Wars is more about your character build, which you can change for free at any town.

On the downside, the little things that WoW has are missing. Like an easy way to reply. It might be there, but I always have to scroll up and click the name. But it's okay. At least for me, right now. I don't think I'll ever go back to Warcraft. I was looking at Cataclysm, the next expansion. Ewww.

- Harry Reid might be in trouble.


That would be awesome. Then he can fulfill his lifelong dream of being on Dancing With the Stars.

- Favre is on the Vikings. This is horrible. I hated brett favre as a sports figure. Not as a person, I don't think about him as a person. He's a sports figure. And he played for Green Bay, and he often played the Vikings, and the announcers LOVED him. "Brett just threw another TOUCHDOWN!! He just has so much fun out there!" and "Brett is so experienced! Who else would have thrown the ball into an opposing players hands because they knew they'd get it back and it would make for great dramatic tension??" or even "Brett just flipped off the crowd. He just loves this game so much!!"

And now he's my quarterback. So now I am forced to reconcile my hatred with this desire he somehow becomes a rejuvenated ace that breaks all of his own records. It's not good on my psyche.

- Speaking of Psych, here is my "at least once per blog" plug for Psych. Watch Psych!!

- I was given the equivalent of 100(0?)g (I'm not exactly sure, it was 10,000 gold, which is ten platinum) in Guild Wars terms yesterday because I knew that a medieval musician was called a "minstrel." Woot!

- My brother's blogs are always deep about meaningful things. I put up webcomics.

- Mike V. for congress! I haven't been able to help out much, so if anyone wants me to start mudslinging or something, let me know.

- Did you hear Vern sacrifices puppies? Yeah! And he eats soup with a fork!!

(Got yo back, bro!)

friday

- Work is work is work.

- Newt Gingrich is working with Al Sharpton to save our schools. Wasn't this the plot for Tango and Cash 2?

- Psych is on tonight. Which means I can watch it tomorrow on Hulu. Yay!! I was pretty excited with last week's episode. I'm worried every year that the show is going to suddenly fall apart, but last week was really good.

- Michael Vick signed with the Eagles. I don't like Vick. It has nothing to do with tha dog thing, which, of course, is quite bad, but his most famous highlight of running 60+ yards through 14 defenders happens to be against my team... the Vikings.
I don't like him for that reason. Also, The Michael Vick experience is a dumb commercial. Honestly, though, he's probably about two years from becoming a rapper. Maybe he can join Joaquin's band - "<(Mediocrity)."



- What's with Eric Bana? He's everywhere. Remember how in the Hulk, he kept getting bigger? No? Neither does anyone else, honestly. I mean, who would remember that movie.. most people have banished it to the deepest chambers of their mind along with Ghostrider and Jackie Chan movies. But go with the idea. Anyway, he's like a real-life Hulk now, growing everywhere, overtaking the world!!!! My wife says he's not a very good actor. I only remember him in Troy, in which everyone except Sean Bean acted badly.

ughh..

- I can't believe it's been almost a whole month since I've blogged.

- We went to the Alma fair on Wednesday. I got sunburned but it was a lot of fun. The girls really enjoyed it.

- The new G.I. Joe trailers are scaring me. The dialogue seems cheesy. Like really cheesy. Like one rung above Jar Jar Binks in a Sam Bernstein commercial. That reference will only make sense to you if you live in Michigan and watch TV at those hours of the day that advertising is cheapest.

Snake Eyes looks cool, but the rest of it scares me. So we'll see. District 9 got 5 out of 4 stars. I didn't transpose those digits. It really got 5 out of 4. Peter Jackson made it. He is also writing but not directing The Hobbit. I wanted him to direct. Oh well.

And then that new movie with Brad Pitt looks good. Apparently the critics love it.

- My boss turns 35 this month, and on the birthday charts, someone wrote that number down. She had it scribbled out. SO today, I wrote "Happy 42nd!!" on it. She is going to fire me, probably.

- My car is fixed! Thank the Lord. That was an ordeal, but He provided and I think it's all taken care of.

- Baldur's Gte 2 has really good writing. A lot of RPGs have good writing, but Baldur's Gate took it to a new level, because the whole thing is good. The little tidbits that you have to play the game three times to even see are well written. Dialogue that takes place only after following a game-long sidequest that you could screw up at any minute is good, despite only people that use walkthroughs will be able to read it. I like it. Icewind Dale 2 has slightly better character customization, though. I already wrote about that.

- Sooooo.. reading the Salvatore books, cause a friend at work is buying them and letting me borrow after he's done. Made it through the first four, chronologically-speaking (story-wise). They're interesting, I guess. I don't like the characters. Drizzt is bland, and the others are caricatures. However, I really like the universe that it all takes place in. Planes, classes, monsters, the Underdark. All very established things that a writer doesn't have to explain from scratch when writing a D&D based book.

- Anyway, on to Drizzt, a favorite for many. Drizzt, if you don't know, is a dark elf, the only one of his kind not to be aligned evilly. He's actually good, and he's the only one. And when I say good, I mean very good. He's practically a nonreligious saint. Think Mr. Rodgers with a sword. Of course, to create angst, he can turn into a vicious killer when good things are threatened. Think Chuck Norris.

And here we find probably the major flaw of the D&D universe. Alignment. Drizzt is chaotic good. Therefore, he does good things. Otherwise, he'd be neutral, and not so uncharacteristically anti-drow. 'Cause drow are evil.

So once you define a character as such, he pretty much is only allowed to act within the borders of his alignment. Well, alignments can change. Yes, but then Drizzt is categorically no longer "good." Which is the only thing interesting/boring about him.

Make sense? Drizzt has to be broing, because he has to be good. Because if he's not good, he's like every other drow in the D&D universe, which makes him uniform and boring. But always being good? Also boring.

- Cash for Clunkers is out of money. Apparently, Democrats really didn't expect Americans to want to have more of their own money. It caught them completely by suprise. It's like when The Witch-King is all like "If it's red it's dead, newb!" and Eowyn's like, "JK! not a dood!" and the Witch-King is all like "no wai!!" and Merry's all "What's going on in this thread?" and Eowyn goes "LOLROFL, PWND!!!" I mean, Angmar never saw it coming, amirite?

- Speaking of Lord of the Rings, DM of the Rings is hilarious. Order of the Stick is pretty good, too. It started off better than it ended up being, but it's a funny comic. Give it a looky-loo if you're bored and like role-playing humor. Makes me want to be part of a D&D campaign. Some DMs give out XP for quoting movies in context of roleplaying.

Hi!

- *snerk*

- I'm reading Lord of the Rings again. I haven't read through the trilogy in years. I'm very caught up on the lore, know more about Tolkie's intent, have spent hours on websites explaining Lord of the Rings mythos in-depth (from Tolkien's own letters), but I liked the movies so much that the books seem less grand.

Of course, the books are fantastic. They were the original that fantasy is based on today. And they are different. Gandalf is better in the books. I can't decide about Boromir. I love Sean Bean as Boromir, and the scenes where he shows his humanity and decency are among the best of the films. In the book though, he seems even more noble.

- My back hurts. Work was terrible yesterday. Power in Alma went down except for the street McDonald's is on, because we share a line with the hospital. And someone quit and so it was a bad day. But it's over. Woot.

- I'll try to be funny tomorrow. Goodnight!

so few things, so much time

- Mike needs about 840 more signatures. I'm going to try and get out with him on Saturday. It depends heavily on my car being fixed. This is a big deal, though. For a long time a lot of us have talked about doing things but he actually is. Good for him.

- I just had a huge glass of Kool-Aid. Oh YEAH!

- Steve McNair was found shot four times. This has been a bad few weeks for celebrities. Although his girlfriend was killed too. Users of Oxy-clean - Beware!

- This was the first non-completely stressful shift I've had in awhile. It was nice. I doodled a bit. I drew a nine-tentacled monster named Spotty.

- I'm thinking I'll try going even if my car isn't fixed. I have to work at 3, so maybe I'll leave around 8am. It depends on how early he wants to go, I guess. Then I can get back home around 2, or 2:30, depending on how many times my car dies.

- Tuesday is sleeping behind me. She looks so cute!!

off to work this independence day

- Let's hear it for our soon-to-be Federal Representative, Michael VanKleeck!! Way to go, bro.

- No fireworks for my family today. That's sad =/

- I'm off to work. Hope you all had a great day!

3rd of July

- Not much to say today. I don't think I'm going to make it to the Tea Party. I was really looking forward to hearing Mike's speech. But 1-3 thousand people is 1-3 thousand people too many, and my car isn't the most reliable.

- I feel soo tired right now. I don't know why. I slept fine, and for a good amount of time. I have to work tonight, and it's draining the life out of me.

- Slow news day. Check out my wife's updated blog. Good stuff.

writings on writing

- First off, let me say that I know I am not a great writer. I know I haven't published anything; I know that I will never have a great cult of readers who hang upon my every word and discuss which of my books are canon. I'm well aware.

However, I know there are writers which do have some or all of these things that I am not worthy to judge, but I am going to anyway.

What bothers me most is the way humor is treated. If your book is going to be funny, please, PLEASE move past the tired cliches of a saturday morning cartoon. You know, the kind that makes 8-year olds go, "Haha! He's so cool!"

No more comment. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's probably because it's all in my head.

- By the way, Nickelback won a bunch of awards lately. I know who Nickelback is because they have about 3 songs that play every time I do an overnight. Anyway, their one song, I think it's called "If Today Was Your Last Day," ticks me off. I think I might have mentioned this in a note on Facebook, but for those of you who find that forum too "girly" (which makes no sense, honestly... hmm, that can be point 3), here it is again. The first line of the song is "My best friend gave me the best advice."

See? Professional lyricists using the same word twice in a single sentence, and not in a cool compare/contrast way. He just didn't want to have to work! The song isn't horrible, by Nickelback standards, but I can't get past the insanity that is the first line. It's not like he made up the song on the spot, in which case it's understandable. But he wrote, and rewrote, and then edited, and then had managers look at it, and production guys, etc. He WANTED to use the same word twice in the first sentence. If you hear it, you'll know what I mean about not intending the word to be some kind of link between the two phrases. He acts like "best friend" makes "best" unlike the "best" in "best advice."

I brought this up at work and the crew call me a snob. It's true, but Chad Kroeger gets paid a lot of money. The least he can do is some oratorical variance.

- Facebook. I've heard some say that "it's for girls." 2 possibilities. The people saying this truly believe that the facebook website is actually feminine, that staying in touch with people is for women only, that sending notes one facebook is like applying lipstick.... OR they don't know much about it, are too lazy to get their own account, and rather than learn/try/take time out of their day to do it, they make up an argument that has no meaning or validity.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go take a quiz about what kind of handbag accessory I couldn't live without...

thoughts on death

- Michael Jackson, the Lady mom used to do her hair after, and the Oxy-Clean guy all died recently. One of each gender.

Some people are glad about Michael Jackson, some people distraught. The best thing I can say about Michael Jackson is that someone made an AWESOME WoW parody of its "Billie Jean." Also, it brought a lot of humor into this world with its baby-dangling exploits.

- Fable 2 is not as good as Fable 1, in my opinion. This is because I am all about characters. I spent more time creating characters and writing them biographies on Icewind Dale 2 (my all time favorite game) than actually playing the game. Fable 2 gives you a hideously disproportionate character (Jay Leno was obviously their model) that will be in his mid-50s to mid-70s by the end of the game. Fable 1 did that too, but thanks to cheats and trainers on the PC, I could fix that. My character still looks like a cool hero is supposed to look, while in Fable 2, he looks like a pirate that lived through the Depression.

- Back to death. When the wicked fall, should we rejoice? it seems classless, but at the same time, the fact that they WILL fall is a source of comfort and encouragement. So when it happens, are we suppsoed to feign regret/remorse, or maybe just pity?

- Hehe.

- I was discussing religion at work. Nuance is important. People don't like to use nuance. I've noticed this before. When discussing religious topics, people say "show me a verse!" and then proceed to pick at each word of that verse, because it destroys their argument. Context, nuance, intent. These things matter. The context, the nuance of the words that are used are readily and openly understandable. You can't just ignore that because you want the verse to say something else.

Words have meaning. Often, multiple meanings. Because a word might mean something else, you can't discard it. You can't say "Just show me a plain verse that says it plainly!" because every verse contains a word with various meanings, and therefore can be argued with. Context and intent allow us to accurately qualify what is being said.

- I was recently in a discussion. I used a nuanced argument that required rational thought to reach its conclusion. The person I was discussing with Kept saying "Show me a verse!" Which I did, but the verse didn't say "Thou Shalt not Kill!" (i.e., the argument took the verse in its context to reach my conclusion, not a simple statement ). He discounted my argument because rather than come to the rational and logical conclusion based on the verse and its context, he demanded words without DUAL meaning.

My point being, you will lose in any sphere of public opinion using his type of rationale. You will lose if every argument you make is, "That word could mean something else!" or "You don't know for sure that's what it says!" People you are trying to convince don't go with that. I told the peron that we should go have the debate in front of people and see who they sided with because arguments that rely on "You don't know for sure!" are weak and foundationless and people who aren't stubbornly entrenched in a view simply for the sake of argument will adhere to logical and deductive reasoning.

- later, gators.

back in the swing of things

- i know, i know; i've promised this before. But this time I'm really going to try and stick with it. Tuesday doesn't let me do much work around the house. She is an extremely diligent and doting wife. So in the interest of not playing video games all the time, I should definitely start writing again.

- I have ideas in my head for a new story. I actually made some decent progress on the intro, too. But then I wanted to make it darker, but i can't write darker. I need to stay in my niche, at least for now. I like dialogue, fast-paced and so on. Heavy stuff comes off very sappy from me.

- President Obama killed a fly. I'm conflicted. Not because he killed the fly. No, that was a undercover non sequitor. I'm conflicted about Strawberry Kiwi. More and more I am disliking the strawberry flavor (not actual strawberries, mind you. They are the nectar of the semi-demigods). But strawberry kiwi is DELICIOUS. How do you reconcile that?

- Mike better hurry up and get elected. I want to write his speeches. Obama's speech writer was on the cover of some magazine or something. He likes surfing, tofu, and commas. Umluats make him quiver, so he tries to sprinkle them conservatively.

- I never watched a lot of late night TV, but i always kinda had a soft spot for Jimmy Fallon because he seems so nervous while he's trying too hard. And I like him. He is doing a good job, imo. But I only watch him when Craig Ferguson is on commercial break. He's hilarious!! My only prior experience with him was on the brief minutes of the drew carey show until his (Ferguson's) appearance, which always heralded an extremely vulgar joke. So we turned it whenever he came on.

But he I find his show far funnier than any of the others on. I get home from work at 11:45, and then Tues and I stay up to watch him, and we both laugh and laugh. It might be because it's 12:35 at night and we're both tired.

- I love the "Sleepy Hollow" atmosphere. That's how my mind has always categorized it. A cool autumn day, with dark grey clouds covering the sky, no sun or blue to be seen, in a small village with cobble roads that are covered with fallen leaves. The wind is blowing with force, but not storm-like. You know what I mean. Sleepy Hollow always seemed to get it best. If it were up to me, every day would be like that. Not the decapitations part. Although that could solve a lot of problems. Every day would be an adventure! Until you died. But then your name could be chronicled. We'd have to have some book-keepers. Somebody named Albert could do it. Or possibly Thaddeus. There aren't enough people named Thaddeus around today. All the other apostles, except Judas, are somewhat popular today. Even Bartholomew. Or Barfolomew, if you're a mog. Which would be weird. But back on topic. Thaddeus is a boss in Naxxaramas, that is relatively tough to beat with pugs because one idiot can kill everyone. But other than that? Exactly.

- I love having a wedding ring. Sometimes I slip it off and pretend Sauron was watching me.

- The coolest thing ever happened to me this week. Monday night, I think it was, Tuesday and I were up late watchnig TV after I got home from work, and Mercedez came out still half-asleep. She wears these over-sized pajamas that make her look really funny. ANyway, she came out and said, "Hi, Mike," in a sleepy voice. Now, it was way passed her bed time, and she had been asleep for many hours. So I say," Hi, sweetie," not sure what's going on. And then she comes over and lays against me on the couch in an extremely natural way, like she always did that. 2s asked her if she had a bad dream, and she said yes. I asked her if she wanted me to take her back to bed, and she said yes. so i took her back to bed, and sat there while she fell back to sleep. It was the sweetest thing ever! I think she was half asleep because she asked her mom if it really happened in the morning. Anyway, that was the highlight of my week.

- Bye! Craig Ferguson is on.. ;P