- Learned all about Custer in today's rousing lecture, especially how he became mythologized, and what really happened, etc. Apparently, Buffalo Bill had a huge part in making the legend. Cody was an interesting guy. Of course, we got to see a clip of "They Died With Their Boots On" starring Errol Flynn. I'm a fan of Flynn. Too bad he killed that one guy that one time.

Anyway, so Custer was a hero, but really a villain, but really an insane maniac out to kill Dustin Hoffman in Vietnam. I think they all got it wrong, actually. They should have called him Custard, because mmmmmm, boy. Who doesn't like custard? The terrorists, that's who. Support Custard, support our troops.

- I left my wallet at work. So hopefully I won't get pulled over tonight on the way home from school. I'm really tired right now. I don't have to work this weekend, however, so that means I can... stay up all night playing computer games...

- Work is going well, I guess. It's like there's a constant foreboding of trouble around that place. The minute something starts to go right, the ptb (powers that be, i.e., my bosses) decide we need to change something. I'm not kidding. If there's no drama, complaints, or problems of any kind, they will still decide to change something. It's impossible for them to not. Makes the whole thing a bit more stressful than a Regional Fitness Czar position should be.

- What say we take out all the flashbacks in Lost, change the location to Miami, and have Hurley and Sawyer learn a new life principle each week while experiencing all sorts of of adventurous hi-jinks, like alligator wrestling. Tell me that wouldn't be a better show. (Editor's note: Various forms of this joke regarding various TV shows have been used before; the author is not attempting to be original. Also, the concluding sentence is probably a registered trademark of the Sport's Guy.)

- Prison Break has a habit off killing off the only good characters. First the mob guy, and now Kellerman. I'm glad it's over for awhile. Too much ludicrous stuff going on over there. Of course, I say that while eagerly anticipating the return of a show where people fly and turn invisible.

Class

- I don't have a lot of time, but I was just watching Stewart's interview with Bolton, and we all know Stewart is a liberal who has gone after Bolton repeatedly in his comedy, but Stewart is a class-act. Unlike Letterman and Mahr, who are classless and frantic (at least in political terms), Stewart (who takes his shots) comes at the whole thing with a level of respect and willingness to actually discuss things. Seriously, it would be great if more guys (liberal and conservative) were willing to apporach debate with the same level of class.

Stallone vs. Tarvar

- I saw Rocky Balboa yesterday, and I thought it was pretty good. The fight was the only part I didn't really like. There's no way Tarvar could have taken as many punches of Rocky's force if he were really the cream puff they were making him out to be. Not that Rocky would have hit him as many times as he did, but if he got that many hits, Tarvar would have went down, imo. Anyway, it was kind of cute, kind of funny, decent enough.

- Stallone is making Rambo 4. Because the cry of the American public was too great for him to ignore. Thank you, Mr. Stallone, for making our dreams come true. By the way, the opening song in Rock Balboa was sung by Frank Stallone. I have a feeling that their relationship has to be weird. Sylvester got the zany name, Frank was called... well, Frank. Sly is a big movie star, Frank guested on Walker Texas Ranger; Sly makes a movie, Frank does commentary on VH1's "remember the 80s". And we're supposed to just assume there's no resentment there? I don't think so. Personally, I think if I were Frank, I'd blame my parents for the name. Sylvester had an advantage from the get go.

- I have this paper I have to write. I have six hours at work this afternoon/evening, so hopefully I can get a lot of it done then. I really need to work on my procrastination problem sometime...

- Looks like I'm not going to Florida. Which I guess works out, since work is kind of crazy, and school is getting busy, and i don't really have much money. But it would have been nice to go.

- My cousin and two of his buddies from flight school came over to the house yesterday after church. They sat at the table quizzing each other on these inane questions for some test they have to take. Looked wholly joyless. So we ordered pizza.

- Charlie Sheen is, in my opinion, the best potential candidate to take William Shatner's mantle. He's full of himself, he's already parodied himself in Hot Shots. He's got the mock intensity-thing going. I have high hopes that in the next five years he'll release an album. Think about it.

- I didn't do any good pranks for April 1st, but I still have the rest of the week. I wanted to call Ben and have him call people from the police station and say I was dead or something, but Joe said he probably wasn't allowed to do that. Plus, those things could conceivably go wrong (i.e., some one hears the news and decides to throw a party; because that wouldn't be cool; for me, anyway; the rest of you would get to go to a party, which is kind of cool, I guess) (I use a lot of semi-colons; it's because I don't like the finger position it takes to capitalize, which is necessary if I were to break things into separate sentences).

watch more television

- Gypsies! Filthy people, we will speak of them no more! *spits*

- Show him there are no free lunches at a Friday night poker game.

- It hurts real bad!

- These are only a few of the movie/tv quotes I was able to properly utilize in normal conversation over the weekend. TV: It does your parlance good.




- "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away and a sunny spirit takes their place."

- "A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt."

- "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. "

- These are only a few of the many, many reasons why Mark Twain is my favorite author.

Support the Municipality!

- I played football this saturday, and I sprained my finger. My brother twisted his ankle, my one cousin bashed his knee, and my other cousin's ankle popped. So I clearly got the worst of it all. But it's okay, because I have an enormously high threshold for pain.

- Starting today, I have a great deal of stress. A lot of tests and papers are coming due, and my pastor asked me to teach for him next Wednesday. I am FREAKING OUT. Whew; sorry, I occassionally panic and dream of running away to Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, the papers write you.

- It was almost 70 yesterday. I had a hard time falling asleep because it was too warm, and my fan blew up sometime last year. I know what you're thinking: "Why don't you put solar reflecting panels up all around the house?" Well, I've considered it; believe me.

- I have no idea what's going on in the world right now. I think Gonzales is still in trouble; I've never been as big a fan of him as I was of Ashcroft. Maybe if he pulled out some ninja moves right around now. Hey, that reminds me, was the Office a new one last thursday? Because I missed it. Because I was playing high stakes, do or die, no-limit texas hold 'em with a guy named Arnaud LaSou. It should go without saying that he defeated me. You can't beat those Irish at games of chance.

vacation

- Not really, but I am going to see some family today; should be a fun time. I'm also going to be meeting the "boyfriend" of one of my cousins. Hopefully I won't have to take drastic action and throw him out. Or watch my cousin Mike throw him out.

- 290 push-ups in a single shot. That's almost as impressive as 300.

- I'm getting stressed out again. I have a major paper due the day before my pastor asked me to fill in for him. The next two weeks are going to eat at me like sharks on Robert Shaw.

- People's thoughts tend to be shaped by the thoughts of those around them. Duh, says you, but I'm going to continue anyway, despite your rude protest. It doesn't matter how ridiculous someone is, if they can get a few people to praise them for how funny, smart, interesting, etc., a whole slew of people will come along and take that exact same position. I think it comes from a desire to belong, which is really the only explanation for the Beatles.

The problem is the resulting vindication of par. We praise the normal, the trite, and the skilless as if they are something great, simply because others have done it before us. We don't reach for the stars, anymore. We are content with the mediocre and we can't really imagine anything better. This has to be why Saved By The Bell lasted as long as it did, and why CSI Miami is still on now.

this day is a rationalization of normality

- I'm going to write a short play that I can actually finish, just so I'll know I can do it. Maybe thirty to forty pages, nothing big. I just really need to get something completed, and I think this would work.

- I'm at the school library, and the computer on the other side of the desk is empty, but someone left a chess game on the screen, so everyone comes over to take the seat, sees the game on there and leaves. I almost told the last person that it's been over two hours and no one's come back to it, but I didn't. Interesting, no? See, what makes this blog so successful is that I know what the people want and I give it to them.

- I was doing really well on my diet yesterday, and then my mom made me this awesome supper after I came home from work. And I ate it, and it was gooooood. I guess my point is, mmmm-mmm.

- I'm kind of tired, so I can't think of anything to say. Or maybe the well gone done run dry. You know, the well from which my wisdom doth come.

He remains an Englishman

- At work on a saturday again. Bleah. On the bright side, I just found out we have this guy who is going to come in and clean the place daily in exchange for a membership, and his name is Oakie. It's like fate knew I needed a "pick me up" today, and threw me a bone.

- My cousin is going to be in either the Pirates of Penzance or the HMS Pinafore. I can't remember which, and "It's Surely To Their Credit" will forever confuse the two of them for me. "It's the one about duty." Anyway, I'm pretty sure I could write a play that would get a better response for at a college viewing. Then again, I'd actually have to have a plot, since people like the story to go somewhere. Ah, silly unwashed masses. It's the language that matters. The language, I tell you! I'm kidding, by the way. I couldn't out-write Sullivan and the other guy, obviously.

- One more hour of this. Then the crazies will go home. "People; they're the worst!"

- There's some trouble brewing at work, but it's not really my fault. However, I have an opportunity to either fix it or make it worse, or I could do nothing. It's kind of like when Pedro goes "Vote for me, and all your dreams will come true," and then Napoleon totally goes for it and saves the day. Or like when Curious George takes the balloons and flies to the zoo. Yeah, just like that.

march 15th

- I ended up with 1050 push-ups. I expected to feel it more the next day than I actually did.

- "Woah! Suns and Mavericks went into double overtime, and they both have won a ton of games and it was such a great game and let's do 8 features on it! * labored breathing into a paper bag *" - ESPN guys.

- The two leading candidates for NBA MVP? Pale Euorpean dudes. I think Nash is European, anyway. He looks European. Let's just say he is, and go with it.

- I really don't want to go to school today, but I have to. Stupid attendance policies! It's like the teachers don't trust us.

- Not a single politician I can think of that I like. Just sayin'.

- I think I'm going to stop at BK and get a breakfast meal. Coincidentally, this is my fourth day of off of my thus-far four-day long diet. So, there's that.

march 13th

- I did 800 push-ups before 10am, and now I'm falling asleep at the library. I still need to do another set to put me at 1000 before the day is over. Why do I do all these push-ups? Laudation, of course.

- So my one professor was really cool about me missing class two weeks ago due to weather. That's always an unexpected bonus.

- Do people still watch Hardball? Hasn't Chris Matthews basically become the voice of MoveOn.org? Wouldn't everyone have been happier if Zell Miller had pulled a Burr and shot him? Curse our laws prohibiting duels!

- Olberman and Matthews and the other MSNBC flunkies are constantly outraged that Fox is kicking them all over the map, ratings-wise. It's the needed "umph" that helps me through my day. Not unlike Red Bull. Or hard liquor.

- Hugo Weaving is probably the most exciting character to see in a movie, because immediately you start looking for ways to add "Mr. Anderson" to everything he says. Btw, I finished memorizing his monologue from that one movie, and can recite it pretty quickly now. And for kicks, sometime I throw in a few "Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why!?"

- What is up with the lyrics to songs nowadays not making any sense? Seriously, no matter how many times you listen to Snow (Hey, oh), you won't have any idea what they're talking about unless someone tells you. I mean, everyone knew the Beetles were singing about a yellow submarine, okay? Let's get some more sleepy lions in the jungle, some more jet-planes. Leroy Brown, anyone?

- Old joke, but you know why Elrond doesn't want Aragorn hanging around Arwen? "It's the smell!" That one always gets me. Good ole Hugo.

- Speaking of Hugo, a meteorite blew up his Rubber Chicken factory. Gonna' be one sad Independence Day around that neighborhood, let me tell you.

- I wanted to clear up something from an earlier post. Heroes is my favorite show now, and I was asked why, since a while ago I stated that i didn't like it very much due to some stuff. So here's a more complete answer:

1) they cut down on screen time for stupid characters
2) they started pulling the threads together, so now instead of like 8 different plotlines, 6 of them have converged into one big one
3) points 1 &2 inevitably lead to more screen time and character development for the cool characters

So my biggest problems with it were pretty much taken care of; also, because of the nature of the story, every week you know something awesome might happen (like P. Petrelli stopping time, flying, and using telekinesis all in one episode). The first few episodes, something rarely did. Now, as the characters develop, they are doing some pretty cool stuff.

march 12th

- So I hammered out a paper this morning before I went to school. I set my alarm for 5am instead of the normal 6am, but I went back to sleep. So I kind of rushed the paper, but I said all I had to say, it met the minimum length requirements, and a lot of my professors are stressing brievity this time around, so hoepfully it will go over well.

- Will Roy kill Jim?! This year's biggest mystery has yet to be made known.

- Zephram Cochran was on MASH last night, and he came *this* close to getting BJ arrested. That'll do, Drunk Space Guy Who Discovers Warp Power. That'll do.

- Have I given my opinion on guys who come in to use the tanners? No? I haven't mentioned how I think they're emasculated girly-men? I haven't mentioned their eligibility in the WPGA? Really? Huh, okay.

- House faked brain cancer to get some happy drugs while in the same episode convincing a father to have half of his brain-damaged son's brain removed. Heh. House, Mr. Rodgers - hard to tell the difference sometimes.

quick notes and jottings

- So I'm wearing this new Nike shirt. And feelin' fiiiiinnnne.

- March Madness...? OR Carefully Perpetrated Fraud on the American Public?

- "Voila! In view the humble vaudvillean veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. In truth, this visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestage of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished."

That's as far as I've gotten.

- Saw The Prestige last night. I liked the story, though it almost moved too quickly (and still was a long movie). I think it was better than the Illusionist, but I'm a big Michael Caine fan. And it had wolverine and batman. Throw in Chuck Norris and we have The Ultimate Showdown!

- To be honest, I would have bought my own copy of the film had Jackman's character said "Bub" just one time.

- I'm considering finding an extremly hard piece of music and mastering it. Only need one, and I can use it to impress everyone. I mean, as if the doodling I do isn't impressive enough....

- Then again, I could instead learn the banjo and then it wouldn't matter what I was playing because it's a banjo, and there's not a person alive who doesn't love the banjo. Same thing with the harmonica. And the Jewish Harp. Boing-boing-boing-boing-boing-boing-boing. Heh. Awesome.

- I'm never going to make it all those weeks without finding another show. And I'm not watching nor will I ever watch the Black Donnellys. That leaves me to jump into a show in the middle of a season, and I don't like doing that. *sigh* There's always my West Wing dvds. Or, you know, school work. .. ... ... HA HA HA. Man, I crack myself up.

- Just kidding there. Really.

today

- I survived. The weather was actually pretty bad, and so were the roads, but I didn't get lost or anything. So give me back my stuff.

- Daylight savings this weekend. Don't forget.

- I finally saw the first 20 minutes of Gladiator last night. I'm still not impressed with that movie as a whole. It's like The Last Samurai in its pointlessness.

- So my cousin was telling me that The Pianist was a good movie. I told him that was unlikely, and then asked him to name a single good movie that had Adrien Brody (sp?). He said "Angels in the Outfield." I had to concede the point.

april 23rd!?

- Yeah, so my favorite show is off for 7 weeks. That leaves me with The Office. Life isn't fair, especially considering the lame, LAME cop-out on Prison Break. Bleah. I wanted Kellerman to shoot someone.

- Simmons is only writing about college basketball. It's disappointing, because I love reading his stuff, but I can't get interested. I need to find a new writer. Whedon is off, Sorkin is off, Simmons is out for awhile. Scott Adams is easily my current go-to guy, and that doesn't work too well, since it's a comic strip.

- I have to take someone to the airport tonight at 4am. I'll probably perish in the attempt, so this may be my last will and testament. Mike and Emily don't get anything, because it's their fault.

- Larry King was on the Colbert Report recently. I'm not joking, he said "I'm a great interviewer because I don't say the word I."

- That's all today, folks. If I'm still corporeally around, I'll write something tomorrow. If I'm not corporeal, I'll probably be haunting you.

spring break

- No school this week. So I get to do other not-so-fun stuff. Heroes is on tonight, though, so woot.

- The bobcat is still here. I think I'm going to name him... Melvin. If you look at him long enough, it's like he's speaking to you.

- It's incredibly cold in here. My fingers are freezing. By the way, depictions of "uncle sam" are creepy. He looks like Mr. Hyde.

- A new documentary debunking global warming is coming out. Let's watch the oscars pour in.

- So there's this video of these two teenagers telling their little cousins how to smoke pot and laughing as they inhale the smoke and all that. Disturbing, sure. But it's the grandma's commentary after they got arrested that's really the gravy. She's like the crazy aunt who's opposed but finally resigned to her nephew marrying a foreigner.

"I didn't raise them like that, and they know I didn't raise them like that. Shouldn't been smoking in front of the kids. (sigh)Next thing you know, they'll be robbing gas stations with nonsense aliases like Hip-hog Soggy-dog and Clementine Duvall. Is this tea herbalistic? 'cause mmmm-mmmm! That's good. Real good.*sigh* Stupid kids. I'm as like to ring their necks at the arraignment. Shoo, Mr. Whisklers! Dratted cat...."

- what's that? heh heh... melvin... such a cynic, but he's soooo funny.

- If anyone knows of a school where they teach cell phone apptitude, let me know. I have these cousins, see, and they could use the help....

- Is the movie "300" a commentary on the Bush administration?!! or could it possibly just be a stylized version of the historical battle of Thermopylae!???!? Journalists! We need journalists! Oh, truth, whither are thou? They delve where none dare nor care, until they realize we are too weak-willed to stand against their accusations that We Ought To Care... and thereby make us. I, for one, totally think Bush is the Persian guy, because there's no way he has abs like the Spartan. The Spartan with those abs doesn't even have abs like that.

March 3rd

- I haven't blogged in awhile. Sorry about that to those who like the blog, and a "Never Again!" to my many enemies.

- 260 push-ups last night. Now, excuse me while I do the Happy Orc Dance while you all imagine M.C. Hammer is playing, okay?

- My boss hung up a big bobcat skin at the gym. It's gaudy, for lack of a better word. I'm pretty sure it was a joke/prank thing on my co-worker, which means we have free reign to do something great on April Fool's day. Like put mustard in his coffee or frame him for tax evasion or something.

- Can't touch this...

- Sports are boring now that football is done. Bleah, I say thee, Basketball. And bleah, I say thee, Baseball. And yay thee, Sorkin, for the "yay thee" bit.

- If anyone reading this wants to start a class action suit against CMU for NOT closing school during ice storms, let me know. Also, if you know Johnny Cochran. And yes, it's 2007 and I made a Johnny Cochran reference. I'd say I'm slipping but that implies I was ever "all there."

- Have I mentioned how much I hate working Saturdays? It's like everyone who never comes at any other time comes in and those are the people who always have questions. So basically, I'm unhappy about working saturdays because I have to work. It's really hard to imagine I'm ever going to make anything of my life.

- Guliani (sp?) is way ahead in polls right now. He's like the absolute moderate, or what us Conservatives call Democrats (honestly, a moderate republican is never called a republican by conservative; we always act like they somehow infiltrated us and pulled the wool over our eyes). Still, it's early, and the analysist are saying time is his enemy (and there's a lot of time before the election) because people will discover he's a liberal. Go go Mormon guy!

- People always wait until the last 30 minutes to come in to tan. It is sooooo annoying, and I secretly mark those people as those whose houses I will bulldoze once I become intergalatic tyrant. And should that fail to happen, I'll put Arby's sauce on their windshields.

Brett Favre is old

- We're going through Machievelli's "The Prince" in my Great Political Thinkers class. Pretty interesting book. Kill people when you have to, be nice when you can. It might make a pretty good life philosophy. Try it out and let me know.

- Oscars! last night. Algore won for best work in Science Fiction. I didn't watch much of it, since it's boring as all get out, and MASH was on. Also, there wasn't a single movie I was rooting for this year, unlike when the Lord of the Rings was in there. I guess it would have been cool if Will Smith had won, 'cause who doesn't like Will Smith? Was he even nominated? Shouldn't he have won regardless? Who can we write to about these things?

- Bad snow/ice storm hit here over the weekend. I almost died 8 times on the way to school, and 14 times on the way back, which was weird. You'd think it'd be the other way around.

- Brett Favre is having ankle surgery today. He hurt himself when he dropped his false teeth and bent down to pick them up, throwing his back out and causing him to fall on his ankle, which broke because of the severe onset of osteoporosis.

- Forest Gump was on Saturday. I can't decide if I like that movie or not. It's like when you jump out of a window, and you totally enjoy the sensation of falling, but the end is kind of a bummer.

- I won King's Quest V and Space Quest 2 this weekend. In unrelated news, I'm bored.

- The Today Show was all abuzz because some scientist claims to have found the tomb of Jesus with remains in it. Because "this could shake to the foundation the core of Christianity!" Shut up, Matt Lauer. Sometimes people are just too stupid to listen to.

- Skip Bayless is annoying. It's a universal consesnus, but he's still on tv every week.

- Apparently, they were eating pig snouts on Survivor this week. This is because Fear Factor got cancelled, and Murphy's Law dictates that something disgusting must be consumed in public viewing or the entire universe will collapse. Or because Mark Burnett is a wicca masquerading as Austrailian.

- Electricity went out last night. They've determined the cause to be a goldeneye satellite going off overhead. Or the storm. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details.

- Espn was showing WNBA highlights. The entire segment lasted about 14 seconds... and they basically showed all the scoring... since the WNBA began. I'm making a resolution to see a WNBA game before I die, so I can at least have an experience to compare to what that guy went through in the Alien movies when the WB frog pops out of his stomach.

so.... tired...

- Apparently, everyone who works here (except me) is getting sick, so I have to cover. Either that, or everyone I work with is a liar. Probably not the latter, but you never know. They could be in Aspen, skiing and writing bad poetry. I'm really really tired right now.

- Would anyone really mourn if they dropped a bomb on the court house right in the middle of the Anna Nicole Smith hearing? I think it's a push on the odds between outright celebration and going "meh."

- At the same time, these two older women were in here yesterday talking about the whole thing; they had some strong opinions on the issue. I'd just like to say that I'm glad I'm me.

- Snapples! It's snowing. It's been really warm lately, so this is weird.

- That song on the Cheerios commercial reminds me of something. I wish I knew what it was. The song, not the thing it reminds me of.

- I'm too tired to think of anything else to say. I'll probably go nose down on the keyboard in a minute here.

bunnies

- What's worse: being slow-rolled by a rock crusher, or being over-taken by flowing magma? We were discussing this, and I think anything that involves lava is worse, but I can see the other side. Too bad there's no practical way to test it, since bunnies can't talk. I'm kidding. About tossing bunnies under a rock crusher. They really can't talk. I was serious about that part.

- My boss calls at 10 to tell me he'll be here at 11 on a day when he's normally in at 7:30. On the other hand, I'm writing on my blog right now and getting paid for it, so...

- There was a bunny in the parking lot this morning. And then the Today Show had the "world's largest bunny" or something on it... today. Bunnies on my mind. You know, coyotes eat bunnies. So... if you truly love animals (particularly, bunnies), you'll kill coyotes. Well, if you're logical, that is.

- Some guy carried in 16 100lb bags of corn into the gym today, and there must have been a couple hundred in that truck. He must have weighed 280 pounds. We couldn't figure it out.

- What I learned in class yesterday: The Budget process is still boring. I wrote some dialogue, and got counted for attendence. Go me.

- I went back and deleted the second paragraph of "Deal or No Deal" bashing from my latest post. It was pretty rancid, and I was tired. I'm thinking I should be more laconic about these things. Well, no, not really. I just wanted to say "laconic."

- I know I'm sick and everything, but the visual of tossing bunnies into a volcano is pretty funny. With a slingshot. Or a whole bunch of them in a catapult. Heh. It's like that Dr. Suess book where the kid keeps day-dreaming wilder and wilder things on Mulberry Street. "And the bunnies were wearing Star Trek ensignas and playing John Denver songs!" Yeah...

- Oh, like you weren't thinking it. "Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!" - Anya

- Remember, it's the little things that matter in life. Like midgets.

- In memory of this new year that is upon us starting last Sunday, I give you a quote.

"Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again." - House

president's day

- Deal or No Deal is vying with Wife Swap for the worst possible thing on television. The TVs got stuck on NBC, so I'm missing Prison Break right now for the most idiotic of all shows, ever. This is pure retardation. I hate this. I hate it hate it hate it, you get the point.

- I really don't know the purpose of President's Day. The Chinese New Year was yesterday though, so if you want to make some resolutions, that will be okay. Like, "I resolve to learn what President's Day is all about so I can properly celebrate it" before you realize it's already come and gone. Oh well. Maybe next year. Or Nónglì xīnnián.

- Okay, so there's this 40-year old guy in here acting all ghetto. He's a dumpy white guy, wearing his cap backwards and pretending he's a beatbox. And he's not trying to be funny. It's great, except I'm probably the only person in the place who thinks he's an idiot.Why yes, yes, I do live in an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

- Apparently, a priest in Romania is going to jail because a nun died while he was attempting to exorcise "the devil" from her. Okay, take a minute: The nun... was possessed. Seriously, don't be Catholic. They're all whack.

- Was talking politics with my friends this weekend. They were saying they'd nominate Newt Gingrich over Romney. I was for Romney over Newt. I like Newt, he's about as conservative as they come, and he has a reputation for doing conservative things. However, it's really hard to criticize Clinton and laud Gingrich, when they both had their interns. That, and Gingrich has so many enemies, that the only way he could win is if the Dems nominate Hillary.

- K, so this guy comes in. Let's call him... Beremy Angus. He doesn't work here, but he's friends with one of my bosses. So he walks around for awhile, until I have to get up from the desk to set the tanners up for some people I don't like. When I come back, he's behind the desk, on the computer, on myspace.com. He's so weird.

- Mark Schlereth is filling in for Jim Rome on Rome is Burning. Mark Schlereth already has a defined sports guy persona, and it's not anything like Rome's, and Rome's personality is pretty much the backbone of the show, since he has to convince the audience he actually feels as cynical as he sounds. Schlereth looks the part, but he's a big marshmellow. Anyway, I can't think of a single person alive who would care about anything in this paragraph. Besides me. I'm not feeling proud.

- Some big crashes in the Nascar race this past weekend. I keep hearing Nascar is one of the biggest sports in the world, but I don't think that's anything anyone can boast of. "Yes, the cars went around. And now... they are going around again!! Woooohooooo! It's like never-ending goodness! Boy-howdy."

- And now, because I have a vendetta against soccer, some Sports Night quotes.

Dan Rydell: [on the air] We'll bring you the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat-and, because we've got soccer highlights, the sheer pointlessness of a zero-zero tie. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.

Dan Rydell: [doing soccer highlights] Blake kicks the ball with high hopes that it will go in, but it does not.