Brett Favre is old

- We're going through Machievelli's "The Prince" in my Great Political Thinkers class. Pretty interesting book. Kill people when you have to, be nice when you can. It might make a pretty good life philosophy. Try it out and let me know.

- Oscars! last night. Algore won for best work in Science Fiction. I didn't watch much of it, since it's boring as all get out, and MASH was on. Also, there wasn't a single movie I was rooting for this year, unlike when the Lord of the Rings was in there. I guess it would have been cool if Will Smith had won, 'cause who doesn't like Will Smith? Was he even nominated? Shouldn't he have won regardless? Who can we write to about these things?

- Bad snow/ice storm hit here over the weekend. I almost died 8 times on the way to school, and 14 times on the way back, which was weird. You'd think it'd be the other way around.

- Brett Favre is having ankle surgery today. He hurt himself when he dropped his false teeth and bent down to pick them up, throwing his back out and causing him to fall on his ankle, which broke because of the severe onset of osteoporosis.

- Forest Gump was on Saturday. I can't decide if I like that movie or not. It's like when you jump out of a window, and you totally enjoy the sensation of falling, but the end is kind of a bummer.

- I won King's Quest V and Space Quest 2 this weekend. In unrelated news, I'm bored.

- The Today Show was all abuzz because some scientist claims to have found the tomb of Jesus with remains in it. Because "this could shake to the foundation the core of Christianity!" Shut up, Matt Lauer. Sometimes people are just too stupid to listen to.

- Skip Bayless is annoying. It's a universal consesnus, but he's still on tv every week.

- Apparently, they were eating pig snouts on Survivor this week. This is because Fear Factor got cancelled, and Murphy's Law dictates that something disgusting must be consumed in public viewing or the entire universe will collapse. Or because Mark Burnett is a wicca masquerading as Austrailian.

- Electricity went out last night. They've determined the cause to be a goldeneye satellite going off overhead. Or the storm. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details.

- Espn was showing WNBA highlights. The entire segment lasted about 14 seconds... and they basically showed all the scoring... since the WNBA began. I'm making a resolution to see a WNBA game before I die, so I can at least have an experience to compare to what that guy went through in the Alien movies when the WB frog pops out of his stomach.

so.... tired...

- Apparently, everyone who works here (except me) is getting sick, so I have to cover. Either that, or everyone I work with is a liar. Probably not the latter, but you never know. They could be in Aspen, skiing and writing bad poetry. I'm really really tired right now.

- Would anyone really mourn if they dropped a bomb on the court house right in the middle of the Anna Nicole Smith hearing? I think it's a push on the odds between outright celebration and going "meh."

- At the same time, these two older women were in here yesterday talking about the whole thing; they had some strong opinions on the issue. I'd just like to say that I'm glad I'm me.

- Snapples! It's snowing. It's been really warm lately, so this is weird.

- That song on the Cheerios commercial reminds me of something. I wish I knew what it was. The song, not the thing it reminds me of.

- I'm too tired to think of anything else to say. I'll probably go nose down on the keyboard in a minute here.

bunnies

- What's worse: being slow-rolled by a rock crusher, or being over-taken by flowing magma? We were discussing this, and I think anything that involves lava is worse, but I can see the other side. Too bad there's no practical way to test it, since bunnies can't talk. I'm kidding. About tossing bunnies under a rock crusher. They really can't talk. I was serious about that part.

- My boss calls at 10 to tell me he'll be here at 11 on a day when he's normally in at 7:30. On the other hand, I'm writing on my blog right now and getting paid for it, so...

- There was a bunny in the parking lot this morning. And then the Today Show had the "world's largest bunny" or something on it... today. Bunnies on my mind. You know, coyotes eat bunnies. So... if you truly love animals (particularly, bunnies), you'll kill coyotes. Well, if you're logical, that is.

- Some guy carried in 16 100lb bags of corn into the gym today, and there must have been a couple hundred in that truck. He must have weighed 280 pounds. We couldn't figure it out.

- What I learned in class yesterday: The Budget process is still boring. I wrote some dialogue, and got counted for attendence. Go me.

- I went back and deleted the second paragraph of "Deal or No Deal" bashing from my latest post. It was pretty rancid, and I was tired. I'm thinking I should be more laconic about these things. Well, no, not really. I just wanted to say "laconic."

- I know I'm sick and everything, but the visual of tossing bunnies into a volcano is pretty funny. With a slingshot. Or a whole bunch of them in a catapult. Heh. It's like that Dr. Suess book where the kid keeps day-dreaming wilder and wilder things on Mulberry Street. "And the bunnies were wearing Star Trek ensignas and playing John Denver songs!" Yeah...

- Oh, like you weren't thinking it. "Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!" - Anya

- Remember, it's the little things that matter in life. Like midgets.

- In memory of this new year that is upon us starting last Sunday, I give you a quote.

"Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again." - House

president's day

- Deal or No Deal is vying with Wife Swap for the worst possible thing on television. The TVs got stuck on NBC, so I'm missing Prison Break right now for the most idiotic of all shows, ever. This is pure retardation. I hate this. I hate it hate it hate it, you get the point.

- I really don't know the purpose of President's Day. The Chinese New Year was yesterday though, so if you want to make some resolutions, that will be okay. Like, "I resolve to learn what President's Day is all about so I can properly celebrate it" before you realize it's already come and gone. Oh well. Maybe next year. Or Nónglì xīnnián.

- Okay, so there's this 40-year old guy in here acting all ghetto. He's a dumpy white guy, wearing his cap backwards and pretending he's a beatbox. And he's not trying to be funny. It's great, except I'm probably the only person in the place who thinks he's an idiot.Why yes, yes, I do live in an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

- Apparently, a priest in Romania is going to jail because a nun died while he was attempting to exorcise "the devil" from her. Okay, take a minute: The nun... was possessed. Seriously, don't be Catholic. They're all whack.

- Was talking politics with my friends this weekend. They were saying they'd nominate Newt Gingrich over Romney. I was for Romney over Newt. I like Newt, he's about as conservative as they come, and he has a reputation for doing conservative things. However, it's really hard to criticize Clinton and laud Gingrich, when they both had their interns. That, and Gingrich has so many enemies, that the only way he could win is if the Dems nominate Hillary.

- K, so this guy comes in. Let's call him... Beremy Angus. He doesn't work here, but he's friends with one of my bosses. So he walks around for awhile, until I have to get up from the desk to set the tanners up for some people I don't like. When I come back, he's behind the desk, on the computer, on myspace.com. He's so weird.

- Mark Schlereth is filling in for Jim Rome on Rome is Burning. Mark Schlereth already has a defined sports guy persona, and it's not anything like Rome's, and Rome's personality is pretty much the backbone of the show, since he has to convince the audience he actually feels as cynical as he sounds. Schlereth looks the part, but he's a big marshmellow. Anyway, I can't think of a single person alive who would care about anything in this paragraph. Besides me. I'm not feeling proud.

- Some big crashes in the Nascar race this past weekend. I keep hearing Nascar is one of the biggest sports in the world, but I don't think that's anything anyone can boast of. "Yes, the cars went around. And now... they are going around again!! Woooohooooo! It's like never-ending goodness! Boy-howdy."

- And now, because I have a vendetta against soccer, some Sports Night quotes.

Dan Rydell: [on the air] We'll bring you the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat-and, because we've got soccer highlights, the sheer pointlessness of a zero-zero tie. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.

Dan Rydell: [doing soccer highlights] Blake kicks the ball with high hopes that it will go in, but it does not.

feb 17th

- Apirl 1st is on a Sunday. Work is closed on Sunday, effectively ruining any opportunity to pull pranks. So that means I have to formally extend April Fool's Day throughout the whole week. You've been notified.

- Half an hour into the four hour day, and only one person has been here so far. I like this pace.

- You know how people repeat a saying or thought that has been said a hundred times already, only they think you've never heard it before? For example, somebody was talking to me recently, and they used the old "men and women shop differently. Men go in, grab what they need, and leave," etc, etc. Seriously, who hasn't heard this a million times? Repeating it like it's new makes you sound like a pawn of normality. A pawn, I say!

- Which leads to the abundance of mediocrity and complete lack of nuance in thought that pervades society. The media is predictable; any given situation, you can foresee what angle they are going to take. People think what they are told to think, and talk about what pundits tell them to. I know people who come in to work whose sole thought process is what they see on ESPN.

It's the same with politics. People repeat ads verbatim, and know very little about the actual candidates. Voting records are ignored and the media determines how a candidate appears. People vote based on which party seems to be popular, or which candidate is more charismatic, or how they handle themselves in debates. In the worst case, they vote for morally corrupt adulterers because they play the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall show. The level of thought sometimes doesn't go above peer pressure.

The college class room is no different. Professors spout off their agenda, and students with no foundation absorb it like Peter Petrelli at a Justice League Convention (talk about mediocrity..., could I have forced that simile any more?). The whole situation is very bleak. People don't think anymore, and when they do, they use their emotions to do it. Logic has been abandoned.

- Join us next week when I freak out about the crudity of language.

- I wasn't very funny this time, but that's okay, because I'm still smiling over that St. Valentine's paragraph. I'm a great admirer of my own work (ego!).

day after valentine's

- St. Valentine, according to legend, was martyred under Claudius. So, obviously, we give each other chocolates. I can't wait for John Huss day, as I'm all out of cashews.

- "Sometimes... wizards are so awesome... it hurts" may have just replaced "My baby got stole by a bear holding a shark!" as my favorite Homestarrunner.com quote.

- I missed Lost again. I'll probably find a recap somewhere. The Today show is having some poker tips or something on today's episode. No doubt it will be something like "don't fold if no one else has bet." Also, it's really cold at work, so I keep standing in front of the corn burner, but then I get chills when I walk away. So, make of that what you will.

- Celtics snapped an 18 game losing streak. It reminded me of that old Seinfeld routine about the guy who weighed 1400 pounds, and what you'd say if he lost 200 of them.

You - "You're looking great!"
Him - " And I feel better, too!"

- I have to work this weekend. That means dealing with the Saturday crowd, which has been proven through numerous scientific studies to be the most frustrating of crowds.

- I'm strangely upbeat at the moment. That means my boss is about to call and ask me to stay another hour.

- Ooh, ooh, the poker thing is on. Apparently, it's hyping a NBC show that's coming out (copying ESPN's World Series of Poker). The host is kind of hot.... Still, it looks like a direct ripoff, and I don't even watch the original that much.

quick notes

- http://adteo.blogspot.com is my second blog, made expressly for the posting of my scripts as I finish them. So far I have six of the 11 episodes up there. I'll probably put the rest up tomorrow. If you haven't read them before, please feel free. Writers love it when people read their work. Anyway, if you do, keep in mind that the setting isn't important, as it's all about the dialogue and character interaction (except the first few episodes, when I had to establish what ADTE was). Don't let the sci-fi aspect throw you; it's simply the catalyst for the characters. Also, Episode 1 is probably my least favorite; my rythym was off, and I don't like some of the "jokes." And please, please feel free to comment and criticize. So far, the people who have read them have all been very nice, or say they "don't get it." The latter is hard to work around, since it's not very explanatory as to the nature of the problem. Anywho...

feb 9th

- First off, you guys are allowed to comment. Tell me I'm wrong, or drunk, or that I'm stupid and my mother dresses me funny. You don't even need a google account.

- Talked to my uncle for a little while yesterday, and it pulled me out of my stupor. So, that's cool. I really, really want to get to Florida sometime this March.

- My sister is taking her ACT this Saturday, and that isn't really fair, because it's hard to compare (my) SAT scores to (her) ACT scores... I kid. She'll probably bury my score anyway, and then I'd just be embarrassed. Which is kind of a perpetual state with me.

- Thomas More was convicted of treason, the punishment of which is to be hung, drawn and quartered. But since King Henry VIII was such a good guy, More got off with a beheading. "Aye, and it reminds me of a song." - Haggis McMutton.

- HenryVIII I am. Henry VIII I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door... sorry....

- Next time someone asks you how you did something, look at them and say "Through sheer force of will!" in your best Murray, TTDS, impersonation. They'll look at you funny, but you'll feel better. Or weird. That's basically the same thing anyway.

- I was talking to a friend and they mentioned that I seem to willfully engage in campaigns of misinformation (they didn't use those exact words, but I think it's more accurate; I miss X-files). I guess I do, though I assume people know I'm kidding. So if I ever tell you I was in a car accident and died, it's only for the laughs. Just wanted to clear that up. "Cause sick people are hilarious!" - Jayne Cobb.

- I'm on this Firefly kick. It will pass soon. I guess they're going to kill off one of the heroes on Heroes. 'Bout time. They've been using that technique for all season on Prison Break.

- A little while ago I mentioned how I greatly dislike Arthurian mythology. The reason is because it seems to always follow the same formula, and it's predictable. "So Gareth dealt him a mighty buffet, striking his foe to the ground. The green knight did then yield, "For," quoth he "thou are truly the most valiant knight to walk the earth." Then the knight did swear fealty to Gareth.
"So Gareth and his lady rode seven days, and were beset by a red knight with a serpent on his shield. The battle continued 'til the falling of the sun, until each has six wounds and the ground was red with blood. Then the red knight did yield to Gareth. "Truly, a more righteous knight ne'er did I see," quoth he, and then swore his service to Gareth.
"Then Gareth and his lady rode seven more days..." etc, etc, etc. Of course, there's a little more detail, but that's basically the story of Gareth, and he's one of the better knights. The crazy thing is you could switch in like three different knights' names, and still it'd be a pretty accurate account of something. Boring. Norse ftw (or, as Oxhorn would say, "ffff-tttt-wwp").

Edit - 11 episode is up on corellian sector. I think I might start a second blog just for those. We'll see.

feb -8th

-So bored. Again.

- Joss Whedon is no longer going to be working on the Wonder Woman movie. I've never been a fan of that particular super hero, but I would have been interested in the movie, since (have I mentioned it?) I really like his writing.

- I seriously need to get out of (hometown (it's a long story, but I'm not going to name it, as you probably already noticed)). There is no one to hang around with here, and the people I have to deal with are killing my brain. If I end up going to Calvin, I may move to Grand Rapids. I don't know if I'd like that. It probably couldn't be worse than...

-Okay, so I need to snap out of this. Think happy thoughts... hmmm.... I got nothin'. Kidding. I'll try to get the 11th part online, for those of you who read it, this weekend. Maybe friday.

- Took a test today. For the essay part, i had to pick from two questions. I picked the one from the book I hadn't read. Normally, i would avoid the book essays, but the professor doesn't seem like the guy who reads the books very carefully, and the question was so easy that I could just draw on my vast resources to answer it.

- Watch me get a D.... kidding!

- I have all this stuff I'm supposed to read. I could be doing that right now.

- I didn't watch Lost last night. I've kind of lost all interest (you can tell I'm slumping because I knew I was making a pun there, and didn't even try to think of a different word..).

feb -7th

- Sulu, as Hiro's dad on Heroes, had a limo with the license plate of NCC 1701. That is probably the coolest thing that has been on TV so far this year.

- I was going through my backpack that I've had since I started attending CMU and I found this old watch I had lost years ago. It was still working, so that was cool.

- The Thomas More presentation went pretty well. I'm glad that's out of the way.

- Not much else going on right now. I guess we could talk about politics or something. Looks like Granholm's going to stick it to college students again (I didn't see the speech; all I know is what my poli-sci professors told me). 'Cause we don't vote or something. Can't very well wreck old people or little kids, so why not the college students?

- Bunch of crazy people at the gym right now.

the next day

- Saw a video about Daniel Boone today. I read a book about him 10 years ago that was far more interesting.

- 240 consecutive push-ups last night. If it seems like I'm shamelessly boasting, I'm not. There's a little shame.

- I think my coat smells like smoke. You sure you don't want to buy a corn stove?

- I have that presentation tonight. I don't do well in front of people. This is why having a superpower would be so cool. You're up front, everyone's looking at you, and you go blank... bam! adamantium claws come out, and everyone's suddenly like "wow, I wish I could be like that guy." Yeah, gotta get me some adamantium...

- You know what would really make for a bad day? Getting gored by a bull.

- I should learn to play cricket. Not actually play it, mind you, but at least know how, so when someone tells me how many wickets they took at the latest shindig, I can make a coherent and knowledgeable reply. 'Cause people in my town are always coming up and talking about wickets, and I just feel ignorant.

- I've taken my sister's advice and have set my mind on memorizing "The Hardware Store." Be prepared to be impressed.

feelin' good

- I'm in the groove! Would that I could always write like this. It's a great feeling.

- Colts won, which is good. I think it would have just been wrong for Rex Grossman to have a championship before Manning.

- Apparently, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter are being parodied/portrayed on Law and Order. Also, Limbaugh is nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for I don't know what, as is Algore for his work in science fiction. I'd vote for Limbaugh. How great would that be? I'd be giddy for a week.

- Wasn't very impressed by the commercials last night. Apparently, all the good ones were on in the first quarter, which I missed. Why, you ask? Well, no, you probably don't, since anyone reading this knows me pretty well. For the rest of you pagans, I was at church.

- It's really cold. -5 at the campus this morning as I trudged across a mile of tundra. My ears were cold, but I persevered.

- I'm actually going to be working more than 8 hours today, which is completely uncommon. This job is seriously hindering my future work ethic. Or it would be, if I had a work ethic...

- Why isn't Michael Irvin in jail? And why are all the crazy people named Michael? Jackson, Tyson, Richards, Clarett. Okay, so not Clarett. That could have been scary.

february... something...

- Wow, this was my last day off for a while, and I was completely bored the entire time. It's about 6 degrees out, and the snow has been coming down all day. In my opinion, we need more fuel emissions around here. Put a hole in the ozone already. Shake a leg.

- I figured out the plot for my next literary work. That was a big step. Maybe sometime before April I can come up with a few names for my characters... I'm kidding. I actually made some good progress. I'm sure you're all very interested.

- Nathan Fillion is going to be starring in a new tv series about an illegal race or something called "Drive." That's all I know about it, but I think the only way a show like that is going to survive is if those wacky Whedon fans all watch it just for him (Fillion). I'm convinced that's why "Bones" is still on the air. And, no, I cannot fathom why CSI: Miami is still around; maybe because it's the most unitentionally funny thing on television.

- George Lucas has reportedly signed off on making a Star Wars: Clone Wars series. He's killing my soul.

- Following that line of thought, I really need to sit through the original Star Wars movies again. I bet I could only name about half the aliens in the Mos Eisley Cantina at this point. That's just embarrassing... (on so many levels, actually).

- I may be going to Florida in March, which would be absolutely awesome.

- I found all these "Lemmings" midis a while back. As I sit here writing, with those melodies playing around me, I can almost picture them walking in a line, falling 80 feet and splatting. Ah, Lemmings of my youth.

- I need your opinion; what would be more impressive: memorizing Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" or Reunions' "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)"? Let me know so I can get to work.

- I'll end with a quote from Wash:

Wash [as Stegosaurus]: Yes. Yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… "This Land."

Wash [as Allosaurus]: I think we should call it "your grave"!

Wash [as Stegosaurus]: Ahh! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Wash [as Allosaurus]: Har har har! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!

[The Allosaurus attacks the Stegosaurus.]

Heh. He's the best.